By Karen Morgan
Holidays
Reduce Holiday Stress with Kids
Why do they call it “The 12 days of Christmas”?
- a. Because there are 12 days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany;
- b. Because it takes 12 days to clean the house for company;
- c. Because “The 12 days of Poke Me In The Eye With A Sharp Stick” was already taken.
If you answered “c,” you are not alone. The holidays bring out stress in even the most pliable yoga instructor. Our children are also affected by the stress of the season. December is crazy-busy, so here are some tips in keeping your holiday season with kids stress-free:
Be Realistic.
You are not Martha Stewart. Thankfully, you and your kids are normal, well-adjusted human beings. So don’t make yourself crazy by trying to recreate the holiday as portrayed on TV or in magazines. If you do too much, you and your children will be too exhausted to enjoy it.
Remember that family members will be the way they always are. If they fight, they won’t suddenly stop just because it’s a holiday. If your family causes too much stress or creates a toxic environment for your kids, spend the holidays with friends or just your kids.
Help your children be realistic. With all the advertising in the media, wish lists become unattainable. Show your children, by your actions, that your holiday is about more than gifts.
Reassess.
Gather together and decide which activities are important and which can be eliminated. Are there things that you do because you have always done them? Have you stopped enjoying them? Have your children outgrown them? Look at how you can do the activity differently or make this the year to let it go.
Start a new tradition.
Find an activity that your family enjoys and create a new tradition this year. Rituals that occur every year are comforting to children and help create positive holiday memories. Talk to your children about what is important to you during this holiday.
Prioritize.
What has to be done and when? If you plan and schedule activities, you won’t feel so pressured. Make a list and mark your calendar. Make a shopping list so you won’t overspend. Tell your children what the plans are and ask them about their priorities.
Keep your routine.
During this hectic time, changing the normal family routine can be stressful to children. As much as possible, keep mealtimes and bedtime the same. If there is a big activity, make sure your child is rested and fed. Help reduce the impact of schedule changes by telling your child what to expect.
Delegate responsibilities.
Remember, you are not Martha. You don’t have to do it all! Ask for help. Can everyone pitch in to help bake the cookies? Make a production line, and you may start a new tradition. Let children wrap their presents for others. The gift may not be wrapped “perfectly,” but children will have fun in the process (buy extra tape).
Simplify.
Reduce holiday stress by simplifying the things that get out of hand. How big a holiday dinner do you really have to cook? (answer: potluck). How many people that you know that really need a gift? (answer: not that many). Do you really have to hand print all the holiday cards? (answer: email).
Plan for fun.
What do you and your kids enjoy doing the most? Holiday memories involve time spent together, and many of the fun activities we can do with our kids are low-cost. Play fun holiday music in the car while you drive around to see the lights. Go sledding. Visit the children’s museum. Watch Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer and eat popcorn.
Carve out self-time.
Making time for yourself is a gift to your family because it makes you more fun (less stressed) to be around. So take a walk. Take a nap. Get your nails done. Have lunch with a friend. Trade “watching the kids” nights with a friend so that you and your partner can reconnect.
Roll with the punches, even if you are on fire.
There will be days when things don’t work out as you plan this holiday season, so find the humor in the mishaps. One Christmas, my brother Ronnie stood too close to the fireplace while we were opening gifts. A spark landed on his new sweater, and he went up in flames. Thankfully, my brother was unhurt, even after my uncles tried to get him to “stop, drop & roll” into the wrapping paper that covered the floor. The story, “Remember the Christmas when Ronnie caught on fire?” is a family classic that still makes us laugh.
So rejoice in burned cookies, revel in bad gifts, and laugh yourself through the holiday season. And remember, in another month, all of this holiday stuff will be over. Do what you can to make the holiday season a pleasant memory for your family.
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